The no-contact rule is a way to cut off contact with your ex after a breakup. It’s the best way to move on from an ex. It should not last more than 60 days. There should be no texting, calling or interaction on social media. While it can seem extreme to cut off contact with your ex while you are trying to heal from a breakup this is actually the best and most efficient way to move on. This is everything you need to know about the process of ending contact with an ex after a breakup.
1. You won’t be able to get your ex back by following the no-contact rule.
Some people use the no contact rule to manipulate their ex. However, the internet will show you that no contact isn’t very effective in getting your ex back. It doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone will have an ex who reaches out after a long period of not speaking to them. It is not a good idea to try to force your ex-partner to follow a certain formula or to change their behavior to suit your needs. This may indicate that your inner work is hindering your relationship’s success. This strategy can be harmful for you as it may keep you emotionally attached to an old relationship and slow down your healing.
Instead, the no contact rule should be about yourself and helping you move on from your ex. It is an essential tool for self-empowerment. You want to reach a place where you can say “With or without me, my life will be amazing!”
2. It will be a pain.
Most people use love as a drug. People get their “high” from external sources, such as the approval and presence of another person. It can be frightening to feel the withdrawal from the feeling of heartbreak that follows the end of a relationship (and fear that they might not be able to make it work on their own).
Keep faith. You will feel sad. You will feel sad. You will grieve. But, by following the no-contact rule you can regain your strength, self-esteem and confidence. It is important to distinguish between “wanting” and “needing” a partner.
After a breakup, you should practice self-care and avoid seeing your ex on social networks. This will only make it more difficult to heal. It may be necessary to block your ex on social media in order not to make contact.
This journey can be shared with someone who “gets it.” You might not find this person to be your best friend. When you are in a real struggle, a strong teammate can help to buoy your spirits. Bad teammates will only add to your problems and headaches.
3. Your silence is more powerful than words.
A breakup in a long-term relationship can be devastating, especially if it is done by text messages or other hurtful means. Your ex-partner may know that they behave badly in such situations. You might be waiting to be screamed at, begged for or display a meltdown via social media so that they can call you “dramatic.” You’ll be able to confirm their decision.
Contact does not change the game. It’s unpredictable. Your ex must be able to accept your mistake without you telling them. They have to feel their pain and then think and then cry. Your ex will see that you are a class act and realize they have lost someone very special.
4. You will learn important emotional skills.
Sometimes, the loss of a relationship can lead to more time. This time can be used wisely to improve your emotional intelligence and have greater chances of success with or without your ex.
I have seen 99% of the problems in my coaching of women and men result from a lack or boundaries. “No” is a short, but important word that isn’t used enough. You can choose to be liked or respected if you have to make a choice.
Develop better boundaries, Increase self-esteem and stop engaging in harmful behaviors that you learned in childhood. You will have a better chance of succeeding in your next relationship if you can identify where you’ve made mistakes and fix them.
5. You’ll find the hidden sources of happiness you were searching for.
Singles often lead incredibly vibrant lives. They go dancing, write poetry and take road trips with friends. Many people fall into a deep black hole when they are in a relationship. They become comfortable. They stop flirting and begin fighting. They leave behind their friends, and an essential part of themselves.
You can’t have a contact that doesn’t give you the energy and time to achieve your goals, no matter how big or small. Earn your MBA. Take a trip to Morocco. You can have a romantic relationship with the handsome guy at Muay Thai classes. Soon you’ll realize that even though your life is different without a partner, it’s still sweet. You radiate positive vibes when you smile and laugh again. You’ll soon find a lot of suitors, as the world is full of them.
6. Your nonnegotiable value will be clearly defined.
Most people don’t look for love in the right way. People chase attractiveness, money or physical appearance. You have to be able to see the bigger picture if you want long-lasting love, one that grows with time.
What are your core values? What are your essentials? These are my personal favorites.
“I love partners who are open to apologies and admit their faults.”
“I only date partners who believe mutuality–where there’s equal give-and-take.”
“I only date partners who believe and communicate well.”
You may be reeling from a breakup that left you feeling hurt. Think about the values you and your partner have been missing. These values should be a part of your next relationship.
7. No-Contact will bring you back to reality.
Your body is flooded with oxytocin, dopamine and other “feel-good” chemicals during sex. You can get lost in fantasies when you are experiencing euphoria.
The no-contact rule can be used to detox you from the reality of your ex. Your ex is not the person you want them to be, but who they are. Are they selfish? Cowardly? A liar? A emotionally unmature narcissist You can see the truth and make better decisions about whether a partner is a good choice for you over the long-term. You want to be able to trust your partner and have a good time.
8. You will be stronger or more powerful with no-contact.
You will realize that you are the only person in this world when you stop looking to your partner for happiness. You can’t be saved by anyone. It is your responsibility to discover why you were created and to create meaning in your life.
It is not easy work. It can be painful. It’s where your life starts to get really rewarding and enjoyable. You feel younger, and you wake up excited about the future.
It’s time to make a radical change if you have been unable to look straight or seem to be in an awkward place. Although it may seem bold, cutting off contact with your ex via the no-contact rule will allow you to move on quickly and regain your power.