Dating can be a lot more nerve-wracking than it needs to be. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It all boils down to determining “who” you’re looking for and “what” you’re seeking for. Let’s take it one step at a time.
For many people looking for a companion, figuring out how to respond to the question “what are you looking for in a relationship” is a nightmare. Dating is challenging enough without having to provide what may appear to be predetermined responses. After all, isn’t dating about finding someone who appreciates who you are?
Yes, in a nutshell! That is, after all, what dating is all about. Finding someone who genuinely cares for you and reciprocating their sentiments. After all, it’s all about mutual growth, respect, love, and support when it comes to relationships.
But why does it have to feel like an interrogation at first? Why are you asking so many questions about:
- Who are you?
- What are your personal tastes?
- How do you like to spend your free time?
- What qualities do you seek in a partner?
- Do you want to tie the knot?
- Do you wish to have children?
- And there are so many more!
Don’t think about it negatively, though. After all, you’re both seeking for someone to live your life with, so it’s only normal to want to know if they’re worth your time. While it may appear like you’re looking for a job, the other person simply wants to learn more about you, just as you want to learn more about them.
Is It Necessary For Me To Make Myself Appealing?
This line of reasoning and self-wondering is a trap you’ve set for yourself. Because finding the ideal person isn’t simple, you might be tempted to be as vague as possible with your self-descriptions (especially if you’re online dating). Isn’t it a piece of cake to choose the one that’s right for you when you’ve gathered a larger group of people who are interested?
The more people you try to attract with specifics like “I’m a fun person looking for like-minded individuals” and “I’m easygoing and enjoyable to be around,” the more troubles you’ll cause yourself. You’ll find yourself in a situation where a great number of people want to meet up with you, but you won’t know who you are since they don’t know who you are if you say broad and generic things.
Irritation, wasted time, and texts are all enough to make you give up on dating. Sure enough, if you just grit your teeth and decide to go on date after date, no matter how awkward or bad they are, you’ll eventually meet someone.
But there’s a far better approach to find a good mate than tasting the waters this way.
What Should You Actually Do?
So you’re not sure how to react when possible partners ask, “What are you looking for in a relationship?” But, first and foremost, did you take the time to answer it for yourself? The sooner you’re absolutely certain of what you want, the sooner you’ll be able to articulate it effectively.
Remove any thoughts like “I’ll know when I find them” and focus on introspection instead. Monogamy, poligamy, something casual, or perhaps you’d like to move in with someone? Is it possible to marry you? Kids? How many are there in total? Because life is so brief, don’t wait for things to happen; make them happen.
Only when you’ve had this conversation with yourself is it time to “put pen to paper,” as the saying goes. The finest part is still to come! You are free to write whatever you wish! There are no limitations here because, once again, you aren’t looking for a job or aiming to obtain 5 out of 5 ratings. You want to discover someone who understands and values who you are.
Make describing who you are and what you desire as straightforward as possible.
When someone asks you what you’re looking for in a relationship, you need to be able to give them responses that don’t require interpretation. Keep in mind, though, that you want to be honest and direct rather than brash and disrespectful.
What’s the difference?
True, if you’re having a short read, being frank and being blunt may appear to be the same thing, but there is a distinction. Check it out for yourself: