“What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?” — Questions & Answers


Dating can be a lot more nerve-wracking than it needs to be. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It all boils down to determining “who” you’re looking for and “what” you’re seeking for. Let’s take it one step at a time.


What are you looking for in a relationship?

For many people looking for a companion, figuring out how to respond to the question “what are you looking for in a relationship” is a nightmare. Dating is challenging enough without having to provide what may appear to be predetermined responses. After all, isn’t dating about finding someone who appreciates who you are?

Yes, in a nutshell! That is, after all, what dating is all about. Finding someone who genuinely cares for you and reciprocating their sentiments. After all, it’s all about mutual growth, respect, love, and support when it comes to relationships.

But why does it have to feel like an interrogation at first? Why are you asking so many questions about:

  • Who are you?
  • What are your personal tastes?
  • How do you like to spend your free time?
  • What qualities do you seek in a partner?
  • Do you want to tie the knot?
  • Do you wish to have children?
  • And there are so many more!

Don’t think about it negatively, though. After all, you’re both seeking for someone to live your life with, so it’s only normal to want to know if they’re worth your time. While it may appear like you’re looking for a job, the other person simply wants to learn more about you, just as you want to learn more about them.

Is It Necessary For Me To Make Myself Appealing?

What are you looking for in a relationship?

This line of reasoning and self-wondering is a trap you’ve set for yourself. Because finding the ideal person isn’t simple, you might be tempted to be as vague as possible with your self-descriptions (especially if you’re online dating). Isn’t it a piece of cake to choose the one that’s right for you when you’ve gathered a larger group of people who are interested?

Wrong.

The more people you try to attract with specifics like “I’m a fun person looking for like-minded individuals” and “I’m easygoing and enjoyable to be around,” the more troubles you’ll cause yourself. You’ll find yourself in a situation where a great number of people want to meet up with you, but you won’t know who you are since they don’t know who you are if you say broad and generic things.

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Irritation, wasted time, and texts are all enough to make you give up on dating. Sure enough, if you just grit your teeth and decide to go on date after date, no matter how awkward or bad they are, you’ll eventually meet someone.

But there’s a far better approach to find a good mate than tasting the waters this way.

What Should You Actually Do?

So you’re not sure how to react when possible partners ask, “What are you looking for in a relationship?” But, first and foremost, did you take the time to answer it for yourself? The sooner you’re absolutely certain of what you want, the sooner you’ll be able to articulate it effectively.

Remove any thoughts like “I’ll know when I find them” and focus on introspection instead. Monogamy, poligamy, something casual, or perhaps you’d like to move in with someone? Is it possible to marry you? Kids? How many are there in total? Because life is so brief, don’t wait for things to happen; make them happen.

Only when you’ve had this conversation with yourself is it time to “put pen to paper,” as the saying goes. The finest part is still to come! You are free to write whatever you wish! There are no limitations here because, once again, you aren’t looking for a job or aiming to obtain 5 out of 5 ratings. You want to discover someone who understands and values who you are.

Make describing who you are and what you desire as straightforward as possible.

When someone asks you what you’re looking for in a relationship, you need to be able to give them responses that don’t require interpretation. Keep in mind, though, that you want to be honest and direct rather than brash and disrespectful.

What’s the difference?

True, if you’re having a short read, being frank and being blunt may appear to be the same thing, but there is a distinction. Check it out for yourself:

“I want to be with someone who accepts me for who am and understands that there are some things don’t want to alter,” (This is honesty)
“I will never change for you, no matter how much you ask,” (This is Bluntness)
The second option, as we’re sure you’ll agree, is a perfect example of how to react to the question “what are you looking for in a relationship,” as long as the goal is to scare people away. Yes, you want to be open and honest, but bear in mind that this individual has no idea who you are. If you’re too pushy, they’ll probably pass you by when you could have piqued their interest if you were just a little more courteous.

Keep in mind that you’re looking for a person.

When we discuss the romantic parts of life, we frequently say things like “our relationship is like that” or “we’re seeking for this and that type of connection.”
One thing to keep in mind is that people create relationships, and as a result, you’re seeking for someone else. As a result, how you explain what you’re looking for should change.
Instead of stating, “I’m searching for a relationship where we go out a lot,”
Say this: “I’m a social butterfly who values spending time with friends,” you might say. You should also be the type of person who appreciates being in the company of people.”
It’s far easier for individuals to understand what you anticipate from them than it is for them to understand a situation in which they are involved. Furthermore, communicating your demands on a personal level rather than on a larger scale can be more doable (in this case the idea of a relationship).
Yes, if the person doesn’t believe they belong in the category you’ve made, they’ll go on, but that’s precisely what you want. Don’t be concerned about scaring people away; it’s the only way to ensure that the individuals who are right for you have enough “space” to find each other.

Concrete Examples Of How To Respond To What Are You Looking In A Relationship

What are you looking for in a relationship?

On their first date, a young man and a lady
These are just a few suggestions for broad topics that come up frequently when people are seeking to get to know each other better. As you can see, a lot of issues can rapidly become contentious.
Let’s look at some samples of how a comprehensive portion of a dating profile may look now that you know how to format your criteria. Of course, with a few tweaks, this would work just as well in real life while you’re having a cup of coffee with a friend.
So, for the interest of full disclosure, yes, you will receive hate messages. This is unavoidable as long as you wish to be open and honest. People will contact you about you being a religious loony, a nazi, a communist, a loner with no friends, or simply to prove that whatever you’ve written is incorrect and that you should feel awful about it.
It’s a fact of life, and you’ll have to accept it. Someone is going to disagree with you as long as you have any preferences, ideas, or otherwise choose to articulate one of your thoughts. The sooner you can proudly declare that you believe something or that this is simply how you are, and that anyone who disagrees is free to move on, the happier and calmer you’ll be.
Do not, and we cannot emphasize this enough, get into pointless online battles over one of your qualities, and therefore the person you’re seeking for. It can only make you believe that no one cares about you, which is simply incorrect. Your match is out there, no matter how specific a being you are, and that is statistically true.
And, in our opinion, it is how you should react to the question, “What are you searching for in a relationship?” It’ll help you cut through the clutter of dating and focus on what matters most: finding the right person for you, rather than attracting a slew of them.
The work isn’t done once you’ve done that, though. Dare we say, it’s just getting started. Relationships can be incredibly rewarding, but only if they are handled properly.

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