How to Get Rid of Love Addiction

How to get rid of love addiction

Love addiction isn’t a song or a dance, despite the joyful cadence of Robert Palmer’s 1980s single “Addicted to Love.” Researchers from the University of Oxford recently claimed that romantic love, like alcohol or narcotics, can be addicted. Furthermore, persons who are affected may engage in unsafe activity that may endanger them or others. So, what exactly is love addiction?

What Is Love Addiction?

The need to have a companion and be ‘in love’ all of the time is referred to as a love addiction. Because of its complexity and how closely it overlaps with other tough issues, it is a behavioral pattern that is disputed in the field of psychology.
Deborah J. Cohan and Angela R. Robinson, experts on love addiction, discuss the causes, warning symptoms, and how to overcome the behavior.

  • Welcome to Wherever We Are is written by Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., an associate professor of sociology at the University of South Carolina, Beaufort.
  • NorthNode Group Counseling in Dover, Delaware, has Angela R. Robinson, LPCMH, NCC, as its clinical director.

Causes of Love Addiction

How to get rid of love addiction

While love addiction can affect anyone, many people who are affected can trace their problems back to their upbringing. “People who are prone to love addiction behaviors generally originate from homes where intimacy was perverted and mangled in some manner, either because love and affection were withheld, or because they were given too much of a parent. “They grew unsure of what they should expect from a possible partner and what they should expect to contribute in an intimate relationship,” Cohan adds.

So, if you had a difficult childhood, you may have a distorted view of adult relationships. People with underlying mental health disorders, on the other hand, may find it difficult to form good love relationships. “Most addictions develop as a result of unprocessed trauma or an undetected behavioral problem.” Humans replace healthy taught coping abilities with something that makes them feel good right away, such as food, job, and love, according to Robinson.

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Love Addiction Symptoms

Are you concerned that you may be suffering from a love addiction? Because recognizing the warning symptoms of addiction is the first step toward recovery, here are six of the most common red flags:

Falling in love too quickly.

It’s exhilarating to fall in love. You’re casually crushing on someone fresh one minute and then they’re all you can think about from dark to dawn the next. It’s an understatement to say it’s a tornado of emotions. However, if you have a habit of falling in and out of love frequently, this could be a warning sign.

“People with a love addiction have a tendency to fall in and out of love quickly. And they make the error of assuming the other person is on the same schedule as them,” adds Cohan. “As a result, they are likely to come across as aggressive, which may have the initial impact of making the other person feel special, but it is also likely to be off-putting and even frightening. It can feel as if someone is attempting to take control of your life.”

Moving from one relationship to the next.

Similarly, persons who jump from one relationship to the next may need to reconsider their motivations. According to Robinson, “a person suffering from love addiction has a habit of entering into passionate relationships.” “After the pleasure of a relationship has worn off, they frequently show signs of obsessiveness and eventually detachment.”

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Simply put, if you get tired of relationships after the fireworks have gone off, you may be suffering from love addiction. You can find yourself chasing after the initial rush of emotion you get when a new person enters your life. While the honeymoon period of a relationship can be fun, long-term partnerships need effort.

Mood swings that are extreme.

Do you have control over your emotions? Or do they have you under their control? When you’re dealing with any form of addiction, you could lose all sense of control. While we all have good and bad days, having significant (or, rather, over-dramatic!) changes in your emotions could be an indication of something more serious.

“Extreme highs and extreme lows characterize love addiction,” says Cohan. “A person with a problem with love addiction may feel euphoric when attracted to someone in the beginning, but if the connection collapses and they didn’t want it to, they are likely to feel it is the end of the world.”

Loss of Identity

Let me ask you a short question: while you’re single, who are you? When you’re alone, do you have a strong sense of self or do you rely on someone else to fill that role? If you answered yes, you might be suffering from love addiction and have been completely absorbed in your relationship.

“When a person falls in love frequently, they become involved and begin to take on their significant other’s interests,” Robinson explains. “Experimenting with different things and learning about your partner’s preferences is completely good. Just make sure you’re not pandering to others at the expense of your own happiness.”

Jealousy is manifesting

Possessive attitudes are common in those who are suffering from love addiction. This could entail telling their spouse who they can hang out with, where they can go, and what they can do. “Jealousy is a legitimate emotion,” says Cohan, “but when it becomes possessive behavior, it may become a very major problem.”

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The definition of a toxic relationship is when your envy causes you to become dominating. It isn’t good for you or your partner’s health. Keep track of how often you become envious and what makes you feel that way. If you’re jealous of your partner when he or she spends time with friends or family, for example, you might want to investigate why.

Feelings of isolation and low self-esteem

“Love addiction is an oxymoron; it sounds great, but the person who has it can feel incredibly alone, have low self-esteem, and put themselves in dangerous circumstances,” Robinson explains.

How to Get Rid of Love Addiction

How to get rid of love addiction

The first step, as with any addiction, is acknowledging you have a problem, which is never easy. If you’re exhibiting some of the symptoms of love addiction, it’s a good idea to seek help from a skilled therapist. The truth is that seeking assistance will almost certainly be a lengthy and tough procedure. However, putting in the effort will pay off in the long term.

“Love addiction frequently intersects with other traumas such as trauma and abuse, as well as disorders such as sex addiction or substance abuse, making treatment more difficult,” says Cohan. “People who are struggling with this should speak with a therapist who is well-versed in the dynamics of intimacy and trauma to help them uncover their feelings, concerns, and experiences.”

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