Most first dates fail. Don’t let yours be one of them! Tips for a first date are hard to come by, as these often take place in the budding stages of love and romance. Read more to find out what you can do on that special night.
1. Pick a great location
Pick a restaurant or bar with low lighting (candlelight is best). Bright lighting will stress her out and make her self-conscious and nervous about how she looks. This will only end up making her feel worse about herself than she would have otherwise felt if you’d simply gone somewhere nice with soft light.
Also, pick someplace quiet enough so you two can actually hear each other speak instead of the loud noise of the bar. Sure, music is nice, but you can always turn it down later if things are too quiet!
Head to a more upscale place that has high-quality food and drinks so she’ll learn at least one thing about you…that you go for quality and aren’t afraid to spend money on what makes life worthwhile.
2. Get her in the date mindset ahead of time
A first date is not just any other day so try your best to get her in “date mode.” For example, tell her you’re going out beforehand so that she has a chance to mentally prepare herself for the evening. Or try dressing up an hour ahead of time and then surprise her with something totally mundane. This will make her think the night is a special occasion—and it will be!
3. Sit near an exit
Take a seat where you have a good view of what’s going on around your table. If she says something wrong or weird, you’ll spot it before she feels too embarrassed or awkward about it in order to laugh her off and continue the conversation.
Don’t try to sit next to each other at first on the date…you don’t want to appear as if you’re trying too hard! Make sure there are comfortable spaces between both of you so that when she does move closer, it won’t seem forced and uncomfortable for either party.
4. Don’t talk about yourself too much
On a first date, people are trying to get to know each other and don’t want an information overload. Keep your answers short but with enough substance that she can ask follow-up questions if she is really curious.
The “information dump” approach will make it seem like you’re bragging or trying too hard—both of which won’t endear her to you at any point during the evening!
5. Start with some small talk
Ask how her day went, what kind of plans she has for the weekend, etc…but be careful not to overdo it , as these topics may be boring or uninteresting to her . Small talk can be great for building comfort between two people, though, so if you see her smiling and laughing at your comments, keep up the momentum!
Don’t worry if she always talks about herself—it’s better for you to ask questions because it shows that you care what she thinks. If she isn’t than don’t worry; there will be plenty of opportunity later in the date for more meaningful conversation.
6. Compliment her
Compliments are great ways to get the conversation flowing, especially when they’re followed by good-natured teasing . For example, say something like “You look great in that dress” (and mean it!) then follow with an amusing anecdote about how one time someone spilled salsa on themselves wearing a similar shade of red. This will help ease into the teasing and give her an opportunity to laugh at herself before you’ve even said anything mean-spirited.
7. Don’t try too hard!
If she says something funny or interesting, don’t immediately reply with a joke about it—let it hang in the air for a second so that she feels comfortable saying more if she wants to. If not, you can always say “I’m glad I wore my matching pants today!”
8. Pay attention…but not too much!
Pay attention to what she’s saying but also be aware of when her body language is telling you that the conversation needs to be changed directions . When your date’s posture is open and relaxed, converse with her freely but if you’re noticing her leaning away, looking uncomfortable or touching her hair a lot—it might be time for a new topic. People enjoy the feeling of being listened to and this is especially true on a first date when you need to give your full attention at all times .
9. Always have something witty prepared but don’t try too hard to use it!
Always have some good comebacks in mind so that if she says something really funny, you’ll have a line ready to roll out. However, don’t always try to use them because then it will seem as though you’re trying too hard or overcompensating for not having much else going on in your life.
10. Plan for the evening, not just the date!
If you know that there will be opportunities to get alone with her later in the night or on future dates, don’t make them obvious. This is so important because if you strongly hint at or blatantly suggest being alone, it will come across as desperate and overbearing . Instead, try saying something like “Oh man…I’m really hungry; I love sitting at tables where they bring out all of these little appetizers!” You can even ask her a question like “Do you think those are real crab legs? Have you ever had one before?” These types of comments show that she’s already on your mind but still gives her an opportunity to say no without feeling pressured.
Want to know what the best advice is for a first date? Follow these 10 tips and you’ll be on your way to that second date. You can use this list as a checklist before going out with someone new, or simply refer back if things don’t go well in an attempt to figure out where it went wrong!